Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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