somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sober January is a disaster.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
