He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
