That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
A+ Viking dick
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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