honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
