I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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