so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
