woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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