Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
my liver is dry heaving
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
