remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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