I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if only i could text you this smell
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
