you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
