I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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