3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
