I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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