I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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