I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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