i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
