I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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