That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think my vagina is haunted
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He better not be in your backpack
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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