I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
