i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
