Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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