i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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