What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
