Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
