So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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