Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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