i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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