Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We left an ass print on the piano.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
