And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
