What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
