I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
