you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
