i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
