i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why did my mother make you get naked?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
