I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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