I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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