You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
