I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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