As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
