the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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