WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
