this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
