Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
