i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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