He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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