I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
