i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
