Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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